I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
