I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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