I miss vodka workout Fridays
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize