you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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