Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
