no. you can't hotbox the world.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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