Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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