i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Every concussion has its silver lining
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
