I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize