well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
