Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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