I must be too annoying 4 u.
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
