Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
