You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
