yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
