i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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