It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
MIDGETS
????
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
