Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
