Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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