Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
