He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We just shotgunned beers for America
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
