i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
