Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
