Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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