I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
