i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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