glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
