I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
