I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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