More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think your dad took our porno
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
