Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize