so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
