I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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