Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We're too hungover to prance.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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