we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
