Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
foreskin is a definite game changer
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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