There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize