Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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