Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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