So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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