Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
