You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
