she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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