What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize