If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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