She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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