fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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