she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
