Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
