i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
