Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
