So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you traded sex for a burrito?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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