My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize