I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize