Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The uberlube is also flammable
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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