I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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