operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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